Thursday, February 01, 2007♥
Thoughts.
I don't exactly know how to handle this emotion. The closest I last had this feeling was a breakup. But since everytime after a breakup, people will tell me its his lost and I will find better, I think probably the same thing applies here. But then again, it doesn't exactly feels like a breakup, I don't know.
The more I think about it, the more I feel more maligned and insulted. Because if you really want to tell me things straight in the face, you do it straight in the face literally and talk it out. Blogging for the whole world is definitely not the way to do it. But then again, I am not really bothered by the fact that all your friends will see it and go "What a bitch" at the person you are refering to because a mature person will know that it is a one-sided viewpoint. If your friends are not mature enough to know that, then all the more I am not bothered by them.
My initial instinct was actually to copy and paste her entire post and add in my views on each and everything she said and post it here. I need to defend myself. But after claming myself down, I realised that it would just be a useless firing on the internet and its plain childish and super lack of EQ. But I can't contain what I wanted to say either so I sent her a mail and an SMS to inform her about the mail after that. Whether its right or wrong, I don't know. I wasn't in the right state to think properly anyway.
Whatever it is, the damage is done. Its done and its done. We have hurt each other so badly that I think its gonna be so hard. Nothing can undo it. Hiding or deleting the post wouldn't help. And I also realised that when someone is in a fit of anger with someone else, all that comes to his/her mind will only be the times that person hurt him/her. None of the good things that the person has done for the previous 13 years (or even the previous 5 yrs when they were closer) will come to mind.
Probably this sounds very drama mama. But being the so enthu me, I was transferring all my stuff from my old wallet to my new wallet in the car on the way home. And I came across some neoprints which triggered some thoughts again. I know, it always happen on TV.
Having said that, I got my Vday gift - a Guess wallet. Hehe. And that act young punk chose his cap from Billabong. It could have been a perfect day. Thanks dear. You know me the best and know how to distract me. Its gonna take me awhile. But like every other setback I had, this will make me stronger.
And to our common friends, I really didn't expect this. It seems that I am always involved in this kinda shit. Maybe its just me. Dui bu qi.
