Friday, January 13, 2006♥
Kill me
Just finished watching the 25 minutes video of our RJ game which I just got from Ade today. I was so pissed, so so pissed. Suddenly I feel that we deserved to lose.
Look at that GD. Look at what she was doing. I can't believe thats how she played. Remove her and it seriously doesn't make any difference to the whole defence. I saw how she didn't go for balls she should have gone. I saw how immobile she was. Was her feet stuck to the ground or something? I saw her throw away a least 2 turnovers from that short spasm of 25 minutes. Its bad enough that a defender did not intercept any balls, she had to throw away turnovers with her shitty passes. Give me a gun now and I will shoot her in the head. She deserved to be so shattered after the game.
I saw Siting and Sadaf working very hard and very well, flying everywhere and anywhere they could.
I saw how Charlotte shots failed her at the most crucial moments.
I saw how Beth froze.
I saw how Ade saved many nice balls and how scary some shots were but still managed to climb in.
I saw how Xiaohui was quite stonned probably cos of her partner doing god-knows-what too.
I saw and heard how Mr Teh responded to our under-performance.
I heard Mr Teh screamed so many "Peg, 上前！，不要这么早退！" But how come I don't remember him saying that prior to today?
I saw how the basketball girls cheered us on despite the rain.
I saw basketball guys who wasn't excused from Sports Day, risking what could have happened to them to support us.
I saw our last Saints Woosh.
I heard Ade saying "七个人，一条心". Woah, so nice. Obviously we had the 心 to win. But some of us just did not have the ability to.
You don't understand how agitated I was. I was screaming "ARGH" and pulling my hair at the same time. No one to blame for unethical acts. We didn't do what we could, we didn't try hard enough, we didn't play well enough.
How time flies, its almost 2 years. But I can still remember how shattered all of us were.
How Mr Teh looked at me hard into the eyes during one of their last few centre passes and told me we had to get that.
How I looked back at him with the "I'm sorry" look after that goal was scored. Bring me to court 3 and I can show you where she shot that goal.
How I just felt like collapsing on the floor when the final whistle was blown and I saw Small Ade shaking her head and the other party scorer jumped for joy.
How the rained morned with us as Mr Teh spoke to us and led us in the prayer at the end of it.
Hey man, its almost 2 years. The effect of that game lasted longer than I ever thought it will. I'm no longer feeling sad. I don't know how I'm feeling now. Probably its just not meant to be ours, not meant to be mine. No one understands the phrase "so near yet so far" of achieving a dream better than we do.
Its such an irony. We just had our gathering today and feeling good about our alumni thingy.
Okay, on a lighter note, I saw Phoebe and Small Ade filming themselves doing stupid things before the game. Its just so them. Today's gathering was simple and nice. Its the usual laughing and suaning. Always full of laughter. So simple, so warm, so us. Ms Chua cooks simple and nice dishes. Our alumni thingy is finally getting a kickstart. I really hope it will all work out.
But I ain't too sure if I'm prepared to step on court again. I thought viewing the video will help. But it worked the other way round. Thats kinda sad.
Its friday the 13th. What a day for what a post.
