Monday, October 31, 2005♥
Copy and Paste from MS Word
Oh well... here I am on the bus. Putting down some thoughts. Just shared some stuff with Ben and Yiling. Thanks Yiling for that hug. =) it’s quite hard for me to put things in a way whereby people, girls esp. I realize, will not go “what an ass” or something along that line. I mean, I admit that everything that happened is duper unfair to me but I guess no one wanted things to turn out this way.
I admired HJ’s way of handling this thing. I can’t imagine the spot he has been put into. But I would say he handled it quite well, diplomatically. All along I thought he did not understand my plight well enough. But that night, as he sent me those messages, I knew I wronged him. He can feel how I feel. He is in a difficult position and I can understand. And because he understands the situation the best, he knows that no one wanted this to happen. Thanks HJ, if you will see this. I’m glad I can still enjoy the “entitlement” you gave me some time ago. =)
He asked me if I was angry with him. How the hell am I supposed to answer that? Yes, I feel like slapping you and I don’t ever want to see your face again. Or, No lah, not at all. I’m perfectly cool about it. If it was either extreme, then probably I knew how to answer. But its not. I was on the phone with Rong when he asked me that and Rong’s reaction just made me wanna laugh. It’s sinful, girl. Hah. Yin is going to bao dou you again. Hah. All I can say is that I would be insane if I say I wasn’t angry at all. But the messages and the things I told him, how I am behaving in front of him now, none of them are fake. To the very least, I have to spare a thought for people around us like our dear HJ and maybe Steph too.
It may be a rough time now. But without rough times, we wouldn’t know how to appreciate calm seas. Without rough times, you wouldn’t know where your buoys are. Without rough times, you will never learn to stand stronger… =)
